When Birthdays Don’t Feel Like Celebrations

Today is my birthday.

But ever since 2018 (and/or perhaps, earlier) this day has never felt the same.

While others might be lighting candles and making wishes, I find myself feeling heavy-hearted, reflective, and sometimes even numb.

Birthdays are often seen as joyful milestones — and for many people, they are. But for some of us, they’re reminders. Reminders of what changed, what we’ve lost, or what we still carry silently within us. For me, it's not about cake or presents anymore. It's about surviving another year and realizing how far I’ve come emotionally, mentally, and physically, even when the journey hasn’t been easy.

I know I’m not alone in this. There are others out there who feel the weight of “special” days like this, who feel pressure to celebrate when all they want is peace or quiet.

So to those people, and to myself — I see you. You’re still here. That matters.

Even if today doesn’t look like a celebration, your presence in this world is still something worth honoring.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me.